Hail the Father.
Hail the Son.
Hail
One-Man-Triumphs.
Hail infamy.
Hail Dying
Republic.
Hail fledgling
monarchy.
Hail the death
of shame.
Hail the death
of Liberty.
Hail impotent
army generals.
Hail corrupt
government officials.
Hail fear and
Viagra.
Hail sycophancy.
Hail Black
Mercedes.1
Hail yellow
license plates.2
Hail
million-dollar villas in an impoverished country.3
Hail
ill-begotten fortune. Hail luxury.
Hail privileged
sects.
Hail persecution
complexes, historical grudges, conspiracy theories.
Hail billion
presidential posters.
Hail Arch of
Fictitious Victory.4
Hail
Kalashnikovs.
Hail sharp
daggers.
Hail
intelligence reports.
Hail apparatus
of internal security.
Hail
participatory democracy.5
Hail the price
of a cup of coffee.6
Hail idiotic
sense of honor.
Hail bribery.
Hail silent
ordinary citizen.
Hail rare and
weak erections.
Hail Sacred and
Unapproachable Vulva.
Hail dying
dignity.
Hail Christian
women who disdain me.
Hail Muslim
women who despise me.
Hail Veil of
Tradition.
Hail Veil of
Misery.
Hail Glorious
Past.
Hail accursed
present.
Hail bleak
future.
Hail
unswallowable reality.
Hail Judaism.
Hail
Christianity.
Hail Islam.
Hail blasphemy.
Hail Third
World.
Hail Least
World.
Hail Last
World/Dead World.
Hail fucked-up
country.
Notes
1 Most government
officials in Syria at the time owned one or more black Mercedes.
2 Importation of cars in
Syria was strictly controlled by the government at the time. Indeed, cars of
all kinds were considered luxury items and were subject to a 300% “luxury tax.”
To avoid such a hefty tax and to own the kind of cars which cannot legally be
imported to Syria, government officials, their relatives and acquaintances used
to obtain yellow license plates which allowed for cars purchased in Lebanon,
where they were much cheaper, to be brought to Syria without paying any taxes.
The license was temporary but was easily renewable .
3 Most high government
officials own one or more such villas.
4 Shortly after the
Presidential Referendum was conducted, construction began on an Arch of Victory
to be dedicated to the President. The Arch was being constructed along the
famous Mazzah Highway in Damascus, and had it been allowed to be completed, all
tourists, diplomats and foreign dignitaries would have had to pass under it on
their way to Damascus. As it happened, however, construction was halted mere
days after the inception and all traces of the Arch were removed. For the whole
project turned out to be the initiative of one of Bashar Al-Assad’s cousins –
an arch-rival of his to succeed Hafiz Al-Assad as president of Syria.
5 Syria’s system is
often described, by Syrian government officials and their lackeys, as being a
“participatory democracy.”
6 Long ago known as
Baksheesh.